Today I was listening to Steve Harvey on the radio. I stopped listening to Steve Harvey a while back because I didn't like his all about women kiss ass technique of giving advice. But, when I chime in on an seemingly interesting conversation on the radio, I usually stop to hear the debate. He was advising a woman that when a man says he loves you but is not in love with you it really means he can live without you.
To me it is annoying when people compare love with in love. I honestly thought these were terms made up by women to continue to make it difficult to communicate with others. I guess that if you are in love with someone it means, you currently love them and if you love someone it means that you loved them at some point, but you don't love them the same anymore. Instead of saying, I love you, but I'm not in love with you, why don't people just say I loved you or I don't love you anymore??
I tried to relate to this idea by thinking about an ex girlfriend. If she were to ask me if I love her, I'd say no. Did I ever love her at some point, yes, but do I currently love her, no. I wouldn't use in love or love to describe the way I feel about her. If you are no longer "in love" with someone, that simply means you don't love them. Maybe you still care for them but why use the term love to describe what you don't currently feel? Seems misleading to me.
Maybe some feel that love is supposed to be unconditional, so if you ever loved someone you will always love them. I doubt this is the case, but if it is most people don't love unconditionally. We usually love the other person under the condition that they still love us. I guess I'm weird in believing that love is love. When I tell someone I love them it means, that I care for them on a deep level, the deepest level that a word could express. That applies to everyone that I tell that to. My love for two people may be different, but the meaning of love stays the same. To say you love someone, but are not in love with them is just a way to confuse someone into believing that your feeling are deeper that what they truly are. Simply put it's just a way to be deceitful.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
New Quote
"Those who want everything get nothing because they aren't satisfied with something."
I guess life inspired this quote. I love quotes and old sayings because I find them useful and very insightful. Whenever I come up with something, I'm worried that it was just something that I heard somewhere and its not really something original. I love this quote though. It applies to multiple situations and I feel that it is true more often than not, especially in my experiences.
While I'm writing right now, I am reflecting on a time when this quote was very applicable. College. I remember hearing about high rates of unemployed college graduates while I was in school and it didn't come as a surprise to me. Although, I didn't know a lot of unemployed college graduates in my mind, it just made sense. I imagined people that graduated college and thought that the struggle was over. After graduating they expected employers to knock at their doors to recognize their accomplishments. When employers didn't knock down their doors, they went looking with extremely high expectations. When they didn't find that 100K+ position willing to hire them, they wouldn't settle and decided that unemployment would be better. Again, I didn't know many, but in my mind this is how it worked out. Those who want everything get nothing because they aren't satisfied with something.
That word settle bothers me. I remember watching a broadcast about why there are so many single black women. Although, I recognize the lack of "suitable" black male counterparts for black women in our society, this triggered more thinking. Women love to talk about how they are not willing to settle, but I think that more often than not their lists of requirements are unreasonable. At age 21 when women are sought out by a majority of men suitable and unsuitable that list contains 30 requirements (give or take 30 requirements based on how beautiful society at large considers that woman). When that woman approaches 30, whether beautiful or not, the list has lost a minimum of 15 requirements. For some reason, the 30 year old woman doesn't consider her lack of requirements settling anymore. She thinks back to the men that possessed 19 of her 30 requirements that she wouldn't give the time of day back then. Now that she would consider talking to him, for some reason he's not as passionate about her. Is this the wisdom that only comes with age? Those who want everything get nothing because they aren't satisfied with something.
I consider myself a jack of all trades type of person. I still feel that I can do anything I put my mind to. I wonder to myself, 'Why am I paying someone else for this when I can do it myself?' After all if he/she can do it, why can’t I? Taxes, car repairs, providing information, etc. But then reality hits me and I realize that there is no way I can learn to do everything. That was when this quote first hit me. I felt that I was the jack of some trades and the master of none. That thought first came to mind when a friend talked to me about moving to Africa. I entertained the idea, but I couldn't imagine moving and not having any skills to contribute to my society. Since quitting the teaching profession, I have struggle with feeling useless. I don't regret my years of teaching because if nothing else it provided me with a wealth of stories and memories. However, since looking for a new career I have realized that I'm 27 years old. Not old by any stretch of the imagination to the unyoung, but when I'm looking at my 27 year old counterparts with multiple children, married, 5 years into their mortgage it makes me feel like I wasted 5 years of my life. A majority of these people have experience in a field that they can teach. Maybe I could have been a teacher teacher if I was a good teacher, but I'm sure I don't have enough experience for that. Now I am seeking to become good if not great at something. I wonder to myself if I haven't gained a skill because I was so busy trying to get all the skills and learn everything. Those who want everything get nothing because they aren't satisfied with something.
I guess life inspired this quote. I love quotes and old sayings because I find them useful and very insightful. Whenever I come up with something, I'm worried that it was just something that I heard somewhere and its not really something original. I love this quote though. It applies to multiple situations and I feel that it is true more often than not, especially in my experiences.
While I'm writing right now, I am reflecting on a time when this quote was very applicable. College. I remember hearing about high rates of unemployed college graduates while I was in school and it didn't come as a surprise to me. Although, I didn't know a lot of unemployed college graduates in my mind, it just made sense. I imagined people that graduated college and thought that the struggle was over. After graduating they expected employers to knock at their doors to recognize their accomplishments. When employers didn't knock down their doors, they went looking with extremely high expectations. When they didn't find that 100K+ position willing to hire them, they wouldn't settle and decided that unemployment would be better. Again, I didn't know many, but in my mind this is how it worked out. Those who want everything get nothing because they aren't satisfied with something.
That word settle bothers me. I remember watching a broadcast about why there are so many single black women. Although, I recognize the lack of "suitable" black male counterparts for black women in our society, this triggered more thinking. Women love to talk about how they are not willing to settle, but I think that more often than not their lists of requirements are unreasonable. At age 21 when women are sought out by a majority of men suitable and unsuitable that list contains 30 requirements (give or take 30 requirements based on how beautiful society at large considers that woman). When that woman approaches 30, whether beautiful or not, the list has lost a minimum of 15 requirements. For some reason, the 30 year old woman doesn't consider her lack of requirements settling anymore. She thinks back to the men that possessed 19 of her 30 requirements that she wouldn't give the time of day back then. Now that she would consider talking to him, for some reason he's not as passionate about her. Is this the wisdom that only comes with age? Those who want everything get nothing because they aren't satisfied with something.
I consider myself a jack of all trades type of person. I still feel that I can do anything I put my mind to. I wonder to myself, 'Why am I paying someone else for this when I can do it myself?' After all if he/she can do it, why can’t I? Taxes, car repairs, providing information, etc. But then reality hits me and I realize that there is no way I can learn to do everything. That was when this quote first hit me. I felt that I was the jack of some trades and the master of none. That thought first came to mind when a friend talked to me about moving to Africa. I entertained the idea, but I couldn't imagine moving and not having any skills to contribute to my society. Since quitting the teaching profession, I have struggle with feeling useless. I don't regret my years of teaching because if nothing else it provided me with a wealth of stories and memories. However, since looking for a new career I have realized that I'm 27 years old. Not old by any stretch of the imagination to the unyoung, but when I'm looking at my 27 year old counterparts with multiple children, married, 5 years into their mortgage it makes me feel like I wasted 5 years of my life. A majority of these people have experience in a field that they can teach. Maybe I could have been a teacher teacher if I was a good teacher, but I'm sure I don't have enough experience for that. Now I am seeking to become good if not great at something. I wonder to myself if I haven't gained a skill because I was so busy trying to get all the skills and learn everything. Those who want everything get nothing because they aren't satisfied with something.
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