Today I was listening to Steve Harvey on the radio. I stopped listening to Steve Harvey a while back because I didn't like his all about women kiss ass technique of giving advice. But, when I chime in on an seemingly interesting conversation on the radio, I usually stop to hear the debate. He was advising a woman that when a man says he loves you but is not in love with you it really means he can live without you.
To me it is annoying when people compare love with in love. I honestly thought these were terms made up by women to continue to make it difficult to communicate with others. I guess that if you are in love with someone it means, you currently love them and if you love someone it means that you loved them at some point, but you don't love them the same anymore. Instead of saying, I love you, but I'm not in love with you, why don't people just say I loved you or I don't love you anymore??
I tried to relate to this idea by thinking about an ex girlfriend. If she were to ask me if I love her, I'd say no. Did I ever love her at some point, yes, but do I currently love her, no. I wouldn't use in love or love to describe the way I feel about her. If you are no longer "in love" with someone, that simply means you don't love them. Maybe you still care for them but why use the term love to describe what you don't currently feel? Seems misleading to me.
Maybe some feel that love is supposed to be unconditional, so if you ever loved someone you will always love them. I doubt this is the case, but if it is most people don't love unconditionally. We usually love the other person under the condition that they still love us. I guess I'm weird in believing that love is love. When I tell someone I love them it means, that I care for them on a deep level, the deepest level that a word could express. That applies to everyone that I tell that to. My love for two people may be different, but the meaning of love stays the same. To say you love someone, but are not in love with them is just a way to confuse someone into believing that your feeling are deeper that what they truly are. Simply put it's just a way to be deceitful.
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I hear what you're saying but that's a load of shit. When you're actually in the act of loving, do you always state that you love a person and what's the difference in telling someone two different kinds of love (like in love vs love) and telling someone two different kinds of care (like care vs care a lot or used to care) If I'm not mistaken isn't this the same person who said there is no real difference btwn infatuation n love n caring for another? Isn't that being deceitful and using word play to get what you want without getting everything. I listened to that show as well. I think he was saying that anytime a guy says he isn't in love with you and being ambiguous about his feelings it's because he can live without you. I have life experience that backs up Harvey's point. My guy would always say he cared a lot about me but when it boils down to it, he can live without me and continue to be content. I am truly just a pawn. Its that emotional ambiguity that really screws us over. Whether you chose to say not in love or care (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean) you are being ambiguous about your feelings and can actually live without the other person.
ReplyDeleteAnd just because you CAN live without a person, doesn't mean you WANT to live without that person. I CAN live without my mom but I don't WANT to live without her.
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