Fear

For 5 years, I taught in inner city schools trying to convince students that they could do what they felt was impossible. It was my job to convince students that felt like they were so far behind academically (and at times their feelings were accurate) to stay in the classroom and try their best. Some of the students couldn’t be convinced and refused to face possible failure. In my mind it didn’t make sense; they didn’t have any other option. Fly or die, sink or swim, there really is no other option. However, the idea of failure without trying wasn’t as hurtful as trying and then failing. I’ve heard similar examples; they all seem to be one of those easier said than done types of proposals.

In my quest to change careers I find myself sitting in my own class, trying to convince myself not to fear failure. I thought that it would be much easier than this to change careers. Every job gives you on the job training, doesn’t it? Doesn’t every class teach you before they test you? Now I find myself pursuing the one career that tests you before the job. I’m running through the Internet like a chicken with my head cut off trying to research the skills that I need to master for the test (the interview) & they change with every opening position.

I’m tempted to change my goal and look at a different profession and start at the bottom and work my way up. However, I’m afraid that I’ll be aiming for something easy that won’t challenge me and will eventually become boring for me, then I’ll be right back at one. I think to myself, is it reasonable to tell an 9th grader that struggles with multiplication that they can still become a math major in college? Is it reasonable as a 45 year old Alderman to still have dreams of becoming the President? How late is too late? I’ve heard that it’s never too late, but is that really true? I’m in a situation where I want to aim high, but I don’t want to set an unreasonable goal. In Men In Black, J reminds K of the old saying that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. J responds by saying try it. I would say the same applies to trying and failing. In theory it’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all.