I have tried to have a conversation about the topic with several homosexual and heterosexual people and the result is usually a heated exchange on the other person’s end. Usually the heterosexual person will agree with my views and add their more extreme views. The heterosexual person that gets upset usually has a close friend or family member that is homosexual is offended by my view. Maybe I don’t get upset about it because I’m not homosexual. However, I don’t feel like the conversation takes the tone of a racist explaining why black people are inferior. I personally feel like the debate is more closely related to a child inquiring and questioning a faith. The child’s curiosity leads them to question things that the believer feels should not be questioned based on their faith. My feelings or view on homosexuality are just that and I discuss it in order to gain more perspective and possibly a better understanding.
Before I continue, I would like to clarify my position. I am not homophilic (if that’s a word), however I am also not homophobic. There are characteristic in a person that I do not respect that can sometimes apply to homosexuals, but they can also apply to heterosexuals. I do not respect people trying to be something that they are not. Having an appreciation for something other than what you are is very respectable in my opinion. I would like to use the movie “The Last Dragon” as an example. In that movie, Bruce Leroy has a great admiration for the Asian culture, but his expression of that admiration is disturbing to me. He admires it to the extent that he mocks his own culture. A good counter-example to that is Eminem. Although his possesses an admiration for black culture, he doesn’t say nigga out of respect for the culture and he acknowledges and loves his (white) people. In terms of homosexuality, I don’t agree with homosexuals, men that like men behaving as women that like men or vice versa. I understand that this can get tricky with sex changes, but that’s another blog.
The most common debate that I encounter is about whether or not homosexuality is choice. The most common answer I receive is that no one would be willing put themselves through the torture of admitting they were homosexual if it were a choice. My arguments are as follows:
1) If homosexuality is not a choice then it would have to be genetic. Many people try to link homosexuality to genetics. If this theory is proven then I will retract my statements, but I can’t imagine how this is possible. Genetically, homosexuals cannot procreate so then the gene would have to be a recessive one. If that is the case whenever two homosexuals have the gene they would not be able to reproduce it and the gene would become scarcer. However, homosexuality in our society is growing from the reproduction of heterosexuals.
2) I believe I chose to be heterosexual. Meaning that if I wanted to have sex with men, all I would need to do it pursue the option. Genetically, I can’t change my mind about being short or decide to change my race. Many people don’t believe in dating outside of their race. Was this a learned behavior or a genetic trait? If someone chooses to date a person outside of their race, but no one in their family has ever done that before does that then become a genetic trait?
I don’t hate gay people in any way shape or form. I’m not sure how I feel about gay marriage, but only because I view this as a religious practice and most religious views don’t support gay marriage. On the political end, I support people being able to chose who they marry. I don’t get offended by people challenging my views so if you would like to share, I’d love to hear what you have to say. Keep in mind you don’t have to get upset or disrespect in order to challenge an idea.
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For my opinion on the growth of homosexuality. I don't believe that the population is growing. Now or rather gradually, homosexuals feel more comfortable coming out or accepting who they are, because they don't have to fear being harassed, beatened, or killed.
ReplyDeleteAbout your second opinion, how you choose to be heterosexual.
1) Have you ever tried to or even entertained the idea of having sex with someone of the same sex. If so, you know how you feel when you think about it. Is it something that you could do?
If you choose to have sex with the same sex and don't like it, then doesn't that not make it a choice? Or would you have chosen before hand not to like it?
I'm not only talking about just sex, could you live in a loving and intimate relationship with someone of the same sex as you do a woman?
It's more than just sex that makes you a homosexual, many people experiment.
2)Can you help who you are attracted to? For me, my body just reacts to certain people and not others. I don't choose it.
I can choose to pursue that person, but you cannot control who the person is.
Have you ever heard of the study that poses that homosexuality is a result of the brain? Lesbians have a more masculine brain and gay vice versa. In turn, it explains that people are born this way.
As for gay marriage, I agree that marriage is a religious bond, but it is also a legal one acknowledged by law. Civil unions, on the other hand, as long as legally and lawfully the people who are connected this way are given the same rights as a marriage entails, it is a suitable alternative.
I agree with everything that You said Spider.
ReplyDeleteI do feel that Homosexuals should be able to legally be married. They are citizens of this country and should be able to obtain legal status for their relationship.
In addition, I do believe sexuality is fluid you can experiment and please yourself emotional and sexually however you allow yourself. As a human you have the choice to decide your orientation.
I agree with Joel...I believe that sexuality is fluid, there is no clear cut Hetero/Homo sexuality, its just that MOST won't acknowledge it...as for gay marriage, I'm against marriage period but I feel that if 2 people want to have a bond or union they should be allowed and receive the same benefits as their heterosexual counterparts.
ReplyDeleteI counted three points in your response even though only two are numbers, so I’ll respond to all three.
ReplyDelete1. I think the argument that there were just as many homosexuals in the past would be a difficult one to debate. However, I feel that with acceptance and popularity comes a natural growth in population. I think about the popularity of baby mamas and the lack of marriages in the black community. Because it has become more acceptable to have a child out of wedlock and never actually marry, I feel that there is an increase in the amount of unwed black people you see in society. I’m sure that in the past people had children out of wed lock, but due to the lack of popularity, it was less common. I’m sure that there were homosexuals in the past, but due to the lack of popularity, I believe it was less common.
2. I often talk about the difference between lovers and friends with people. I think that the distinguishing factor is sex. Do you go on dates with your friends? Yes, you call it hanging out. Do you love your friends? Yes. You can even be attracted to your friends. The difference between what you do with your friends and what you do with your lover is making love (being intimate). So, to me it is sex that makes you homosexual. If you enjoy the presence of people that are the same sex, that doesn’t make you homosexual.
When I said that I choose to be heterosexual, I mean that I make the choice to engage in relationships with women. Just because I haven’t tried something doesn’t mean I’m incapable of trying it. There are foods that I have found unappealing and still tried. In some cases, I have enjoyed these foods and continue to eat them. I made the decision to try the food and therefore, it was a choice. I feel like sushi used to be an unpopular choice of food (at least in this country) that many people would refuse to taste. Now, sushi is much more popular and more people are willing to try it especially in the black community.
3. In response to your last point about not being able to control who you’re attracted to, I don’t think we can choose who we’re attracted to, but I believe that our actions can be influenced. I think that family and society’s approval of our actions play a large role in how we behave. There used to be more racist people in society because it was more acceptable to harbor hate based on race. I don’t believe that people that were racist had no choice in the matter. I don’t believe that people are born criminals, or born racists, or born gay. Society influences their decisions and they choose their path.